Archive for May, 2011
I want to acknowledge my friends. This is dedicated to all those folks in my life that help put me together. You’ve heard that it takes a village to raise a child. I’m that child. I couldn’t have made it this far in life without my friends. Thank God that he is wise and chose the right ones.
Oh but trust me there have been some bad apples in the mix. There are some ‘friends’ that have made this journey harder than it had to be. But I made the decision to stick around and see where it would take me. Or I thought I could save them or change them or… I don’t know what I was thinking!
But now I have friends that fit and fill every aspect of my life. I have a great friend Gini that I can talk about self-empowerment, self-esteem issues. Sexual frustration and relationships. Visualization and projection. She is so about making a better life we can talk for hours, laugh and cry.
Loren, Gini’s husband, is a director and I can talk hours about a project or a scene. He is the perfect person to talk shop with. Such a creative mind and humble. There are so many things that I’ve learned from him that help in my writing and acting.
Eric, is my fun buddy, he is the reason I got my Disney pass. He is just fun to be around. Always has a smart-ass remark to match mine. A song and a smile. Hanging out with him at Disney is so fun especially waiting in line. We seem to always put on a show for the other folks waiting in line.
Then I have friends that fit my Spirituality, Roger and Michelle, she is new in my life. They both understand what it feels to be able to tap into something beyond what you see around you. How our senses and feelings play such an important part of our lives.
Not that I can’t share more than that with each one just each one fits a certain need in my life and I’m grateful for that. I hope I meet some need for them. The only one that is missing is my romantic relationship. I don’t need a partner I want a partner, very different.
Someone that fits into every part of my needs without feeling overwhelmed that he has to fill all of it all the time. What a responsibility for a person, right? Plus there is always the nookie… I am human and need some nookie. But I want and need an equal partner.
You carry me I carry you. You scratch my back I scratch yours. I make dinner you wash dishes. I hold the remote you hold me… Okay so I’m pushing it with that one. (insert roaring laugh here). I guess what I’m trying to say is that I feel very blessed with the folks in my life.
The Universe has put together a wonderful group of friends for me, my adoptive-family. I feel alive around them. Now I want to share them with a very special someone.
I know that we have all said that at one point in our lives. Well if you are female you are the luckiest woman in the world but you get my point. Sure sounds more uplifting that saying your the worlds Unluckiest. People sure want to be around you more when things are good.
Today was one of those days when I felt so connected, so in the now, so present, and so very proud to be me. I honestly felt like I have earned this spot in the Universe and that the Universe agreed with me. Does that make sense? Have you stood and said, “I deserve this!!!”
As a young Gay man who wasn’t very good as sports and threw like a girl (no offense to girls that can throw a ball). It was a dream come true to be standing on the mound of Dodger’s stadium and throw that first ball. I was escorted on to the center of the diamond and as I looked around I just about tinkled in my pants!
To see the crowd around cheering and clapping I felt like the most important person in the world. I had arrived. I was telling that little Gay boy inside me that non of it mattered, that things had gotten better. That even if I threw like a girl I was doing something other guys would pay for.
So the twist… I was in a costume!
I was dressed as Tony the Tiger for a promotion… (insert wild laugh here)… So Tony was getting all the attention but I was there to enjoy it with him. Everyone wanted a photo with Tony and the camera was following me around and there was escorts and special trucks and a driver!
So while I was looking through the netting in the mask and looking at all the folks in the stands I let the Universe know that I was present in the moment, that I was letting Tony the Tiger have this one. But I want my moment. I want Daniel Garza to have his moment.
I felt like I was doing a drug for the first time and as I felt the bolt of electricity go through my body and feel my veins with that amount of happiness I wanted it again. I want more. I want to feel the roar of the crowd and hear the claps. Claps so loud that they drown out all negative thoughts in my head.
Everyone should have a moment on the mound. Everyone should get a chance to throw that first pitch. Maybe not literally but maybe in a Spiritual way. Step up to your mound and throw the ball. It maybe a negative thought, a fear, a resentment. Just throw it away!
Then sit back and hear the applause of the people, your Guardian Angel, your spirit. Or clap for yourself and then tell me that didn’t feel amazing. Like you can kick ass and no one can stop you. I dare you to not feel like you are… Well… The luckiest man/woman in the world!!!