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Archive for the ‘HIV’ Category

A Piece of Me…

I want to make sure that from the beginning it’s understood that I’m not putting down the dating process. I feel like with every person I meet the possibility of finding an ever lasting relationship gets closer. My romantic side will not die, it may take a beating, but it will not die!

I just feel like not everyone is ready for a person like me. I say “Like Me” because I’m sure there are more guys and girls like me out there… I know there are. We are active, we socialize, we are independent, some may be in Recovery and some may be HIV+.

I’ve met some that give me a run for my money and that I admire for all they do. Some are what I like to call “Bench Warmers”; never really get in the game but are great cheerleaders. Either way we count them as part of the team and encourage them.

So here is where the tougher part of the process comes along, well at least for me. Being Positive is sometimes a negative when it comes to intimacy. It doesn’t help that I know the do’s and don’ts of sex with a Positive person. The other person has to be up to date.

Before I let anyone come into my world I need to know that they know what they are getting into. I didn’t this time and it left me feeling hurt and empty. I don’t forget that I’m Positive, I just shelve it… This last visit reminded me… And it hurt… Like a slap in the face hurt!

So my tip for you folks reading is that HIV+ are sexual, we can have sex. We know how to be safe and take care of our partners. But if you aren’t sure about what you are doing or how to handle the situation don’t go in, don’t sign the contract.

Don’t go to war without a gun.

I will survive this… Just part of being Positive… But it did take a piece of me…

This is the first time I come back and edit an entry. I don’t edit myself often but this time the story didn’t end there…

The person included in this story read it and called me out on my shit… It isn’t always the way we see things. I’ve been told that there is usually your version, my version, and the truth. But my feelings get in the way and I only see what I think I see… You see…

Once we talked and argued and yelled and I almost hung-up. We realized that it just wasn’t meant to be. For more reasons than HIV… There is distance and careers… We both want the same thing but can’t have it with each other.

So if you come back and read this: Thank you for an amazing week, 

Lover.